This is my beginning. I would like to say that this is where the confusion ends but I know full well that won't be true. This is likely to be the place where the confusion manifests itself in my search for...whatever it is that I am hounding. You see, this is actually where I will chronicle my attempts to achieve. I'm not on a quest for truth. Truth has already discovered me. This is more a quest for satisfaction. Specifically job satisfaction. This doesn't explicitly mean that I am dissatisfied with my current position, it just states that I have begun to solidify my thoughts into more concrete form in my quest to answer the burning question "What do you want to be when you grow up?".
That question was asked of me (not in such condescending terms) during High school orientation and I thought I was actually going to be looked down on for not having a concrete answer at the time. I figured that it wouldn't be asked at all if most people weren't already prepared at 14 or so to devote the rest of their life to one specific pursuit. I was dumbfounded. I felt so ashamed that I hadn't put more thought into such an obvious life requirement. "I've kinda been thinking about architecture..." I stammered. Little did I know that would feel compelled from that point on to live up to the spur of the moment statement that spewed unbidden out of my mouth. Through the next 5 years (past graduation and into early collegiate lifestyle) I felt tied to the route I created for myself in spite of growing misgivings. I said it so I was going to stick to it.
About the time my inattention to timing caused me to miss deadlines to sign up for 2nd semester classes in college I discovered that I didn't really want to be an architect. The timing was perfect. Marriage was in the works and I decided that I needed more time and thought to fully determine my desired direction in life. Or more accurately, in career.
A decade has passed. I have worked my way through several iterations short-lived intended directions only to find myself in nearly the same boat. I have a good job, but I am not entirely certain that all my ducks are in a row. This blog is merely my thought process as I continue my quest. I know not where it will take me nor what it will look like in the future. I promise nothing to come out of it other that random musings that may or may not be connected by theme. I will never promise eloquence but I hope to achieve clarity of thought throughout my soliloquy.
Enjoy the ride.